You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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