Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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