Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
operation harelip BJ is a go
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
