we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
