You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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