Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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