i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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