I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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