Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
