scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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