it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
