dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
