it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
