Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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