We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
When are your genitals available?
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