When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
