That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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