I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
