Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
