if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
