when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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