Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
