he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
