Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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