He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
