you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
