He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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