Hey man sorry I got all grabby
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
