Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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