Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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