You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we're making bets on your personal life
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
