he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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