he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
