Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
