So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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