i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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