I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
