'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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