I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
