Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
