i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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