stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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