We're facebook friends in real life
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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