How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
