I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
