Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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