I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
