Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
