Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
