I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
