I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
