doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
