So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
