I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
