Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
